Are you STIMULATED now?!

You must be. That is an order. The stimulus bill is a utopia made real. As the President said today after he flew 2 747s and scores of people to Denver for the signing ceremony of this ultra-urgent bill a scant 4 days after its passage:

“What I am signing is a balanced plan with a mix of tax cuts and investments. It is a plan that’s been put together without earmarks or the usual pork barrel spending. And it is a plan that will be implemented with an unprecedented level of transparency and accountability,” President Obama said before signing the bill into law.

The $13 a week tax cuts are well mixed, to the point of invisibility, with investments in community organizing, golf carts, socialized health care, the new Las-Los (Las Vegas to Los Angeles) mag-lev train line and construction projects which must hire union labor (excluding the 84% of the workers). Investments in voting blocks has, indeed, never been higher.

Earmarks are impossible in the bill by definition. It’s a blessed cornucopia of tripe, unusual only in it’s stupefying magnitude. It is P O R K writ larger than ever in the history of the world. Anyone with the brains of a sponge and the integrity of weasel will acknowledge this, even Chuck Schumer, who bragged about it. The transparency was so great that not a single member in Congress had read it before they passed it. Nor had any member of the public. We’ll have to see if the accountability bit rises to those same standards.