We need hate crime legislation

Updated and bumped.

…because, all these otherwise legal acts would go unpunished, unnoted and unremarked.

See, I don’t even understand how something can be a “hate crime” if it isn’t, first, a crime. It might be a hate social-gaffe or a hate fit-of-pique, but placing bacon in a Koran does not, by definition, rise even to the level of misdemeanor in a country where flags and Bibles can be intentionally burned under the protection of the First Amendment.

If book baconing is being investigated as a hate crime in Tennessee, one wonders how playing a sport involving an oblate spheroid fashioned from pigskin can be allowed. After all, the molecules of porcine epidermis dislodged during the game may easily drift into contact with a Koran – or even an Islamist.

I think the problem might actually be hatred of pigs. And PETA should be looking into it.

H/T Gates of Vienna

Update: 6:14PM 12-April-07

A) It has been pointed out that footballs are not covered in pigskin. After admittedly cursory research I am prepared to accept that they are called “pigskins” because early on they were actually pig’s bladders. However, this is the only reference my brief search turns up, so I’m not going to bet on it.

In any case, let us substitute the manufacture, transport, sale and consumption of pork rinds. This emits many more piggy particles into the wind in any case.

B) I’ve been asked whether it should be considered a “hate” crime if someone wrapped a Torah in pork chops and left it on the steps of an Orthodox synagogue.

We do call the painting of swaztikas on synagogues a “hate” crime, for example. Let it be noted I find that definition of “hate” crime equally objectionable.

The crimes in the case of swaztika painting would seem to be trespass and property damage. That is, you could fry Torahs in bacon fat all you want in your own kitchen, and you could decorate your living room in swaztikas – just don’t deface other people’s property. Spray paint a Star of David instead.

The analogous question to bacon bookmarks in a Koran would be Torah Rumaki. Would this be a crime if it were placed on a synagogue’s property? Is that trespass? Whatever the answer, the same rules should apply to a mosque. Or your yard.

If it is trespass, should it be elevated to “hate” crime status – i.e., penalties increased by several orders of magnitude – because of the special sensitivities of the property owners? I don’t think so. For example, I suspect the reaction of the orthodox Jews in the example above would be less hysterical than these Islamists. It would probably be even more laid back than Christians’ reactions to Piss Christ being displayed in a public venue.

Finally, if violating the separation of Koran and bacon is a “hate” crime because it offends Muslim sensibilities, I’d like someone to seriously consider whether the “flying” Imams of Minneapolis fame committed “hate” crimes when they deliberately set out to frighten the other passengers in a public place.

It does seem like Minnesota is the center of efforts to bring Sharia to the United States. Here’s the latest.

Under Sharia, defacing the Koran would certainly merit the death penalty.