Crazy old Aunt in the Attic

In Helen Thomas’ case the oft-used term “veteran reporter” is a euphemism. More properly, it would be “media Methuselah”, “dilapidated screedster” or “antiquated buffoon.”

I’d tend toward the latter because she does have a certain amusement value. This most recently expressed itself in her promise; “The day I say Dick Cheney is going to run for president, I’ll kill myself.”

Presumaby, if Cheny did announce he would run for President, Ms. Thomas’ reportorial options would be strictly limited.

Even this small measure of self-censorship would be highly desirable. Better, there is always the possibility that she’d slip up and mention Cheney’s candidacy.

Forced to contemplate the method of her own demise, and keeping to her spirit of “faire and unbalanced”, she might welcome a suggestion as to how her sacrifice could inflict the greatest symbolic damage to the Bush administration.

I submit this idea: suicide bomb.

It would give the Demorcrats an entirely new form of “creating terrorists” about which to keen: “Cheney Responsible for ‘Insurgent’ outbreak in D.C.”; “Terror Alert Level Raised to Pinko.”; “Weapon of Mass Delusion Found!”

If she detonated during a press conference, it would obviously have additional salutary effects.